we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
