dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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