did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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