Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
They took my balls.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
