My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
