i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You are a genius and a whore.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
