The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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