puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
pray to the hookup gods
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
