I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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