I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
