There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
