I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
