jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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