just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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