I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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