she looked like the before picture.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So vagazzling was a success
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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