So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
