So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
