Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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