My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
