i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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