I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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