youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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