I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
