You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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