Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize