he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
