is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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