Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
