I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
