I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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