Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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