Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
