btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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