We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
