I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize