let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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