yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
