They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
