just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
