i jhust puked up my retainher.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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