i need an iv and a liver transplant
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
