I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If I die, sorry about rent.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
