why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
