i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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