summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
