Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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