You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
