is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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