i would punch a child for taco bell
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
