So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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