She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
