Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
