like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
