Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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