I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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