so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
