those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I touched a dick in church today
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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