wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Randomize
