Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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