Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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