I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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