i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
we're so committed to being not committed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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