Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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