Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
