I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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