he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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