ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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