around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
