Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
