I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
