I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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