I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
