My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
