so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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