Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
