just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
